Not a Man
by WillowSioui
Summary: Malec; MagnusxAlec. Based off of the movie ‘City of Angels’. Magnus decides to give up everything in order to stay with Alec. But, once he does, something horrible happens, and Magnus can’t deal with it. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Mortal Instruments book series. I do, however, own the plot.

**Plot:** Malec; MagnusxAlec. Based off of the movie 'City of Angels'. Magnus decides to give up everything in order to stay with Alec. But, once he does, something horrible happens, and Magnus can't deal with it. Oneshot.

Magnus sits in a dark wooden chair, looking at an old friend of his. The witch has both of her hands on Magnus' head, her eyes closed in concentration. Magnus sucks in a deep breath, as a sharp, precise pain shoots throughout his entire body. He grasps the chairs arms so hard that his knuckles go completely white, the blood draining from his face. He writhes and struggles, but the witch keeps him in the chair with her magic. He lets out an agonized scream, the chair rocking with the force of his struggles. The witch's face contorts with the effort of trying to keep Magnus still enough for her magic to work. When Magnus opens his mouth again in a pain-filled scream, he feels something become ripped out of his body, tears falling from the corners of his eyes as he struggles. The witch takes a few steps back, breathing heavily, and Magnus' head falls forwards. His breathing is shallow, and he feels completely empty on the inside. The witch grabs his chin in her hand and forces him to look at her. She puts the palm of her other hand on his forehead, and mutters a few words. Magnus feels as if he is being pulled in multiple different directions at once, and his vision disappears.

When the spinning stops, and his vision returns, Magnus is lying on the floor of his flat in Brooklyn, New York. He struggles to take a breath, and looks around in a dazed manner. He slowly and awkwardly rolls onto his stomach and grimaces when he feels electric shocks course through his veins. Reaching forwards with one hand he grasps the floor, and slowly he pulls himself across the floor. The pain is unbearable, but he needs to get to the phone. Reaching with his other hand, he keeps pulling himself across the floor, until he reaches the end-table. Hitting the end-table with all of his might, which isn't all that much, the table tumbles over, the phone splaying across the floor. Magnus picks up the receiver awkwardly, and dials a number that is now more familiar to him than his own. He waits as the other end rings and rings, then finally the line gets picked up.

"Hello?"Magnus lets out a small sob, tears escaping from his eyes. Having heard Alec Lightwood's voice, he drops the phone and lays down on his stomach, closing his eyes. He faintly hears frantic murmuring on the other side of the receiver, but he cannot pick up. He is just plainly too tired.

****************************45 minutes later************************

Magnus opens his eyes to see Alec Lightwood sitting in a chair beside his bed, sleeping. HE takes in a deep breath, then winces when it causes him pain. He realizes that Alec had probably come to his rescue and placed him in his comfortable, colorful bed. Putting a hand to his forehead, he sighs, then takes another look at Alec. Alec is now sitting up straight, blue eyes watching Magnus intently. Magnus awkwardly sits up, and gives Alec a smile, flashing brilliant white teeth. Alec gets out of the chair and sits beside Magnus, brushing his hair out of his face. Magnus takes Alec's hand and pulls him towards him, into an embrace. Alec is careful not to hurt Magnus as he returns the embrace. Magnus lightly pushes Alec back, but only a little bit. He sits staring into Alec's blue, blue eyes for what seems like an eternity, noting to himself that his eyes resemble the bottom of the ocean; deep, beautiful pools of glowing love and the perfect way to see into his soul. His soul, as Magnus realizes then, is always there, in his blue eyes. He takes Alec's face in between his hands, and moves forwards, pressing his lips to his. Alec freezes, but Magnus doesn't give up. He wants to tell Alec what he did for him, but it will have to wait. For now, just being so close to him is enough. Since what he did, Magnus wants to stay as close to Alec as he possibly can; he wants to become as much a part of him as he had before, and maybe even more now. After a few moments, just long enough to take a breath, Alec returns the kiss, wrapping his arms around Magnus' shoulders.

Taking this as an advantage, Magnus pulls Alec as close to him as possible, but he has to pull away to take a breath. He had never, never before had to worry about himself breathing before now. He had always just allowed himself to use his magic…Magnus pushes these thoughts into the back of his mind. He's here with Alec now. Looking into Alec's deep, sensual eyes, Magnus realizes that Alec is giving him permission. Magnus smiles briefly, and then presses his lips to Alec's again, to find that Alec returns without a second thought. Magnus slips his tongue in-between Alec's lips, and there their tongue's fight for dominance. Magnus moves forwards, slowly tipping them over until he is hovering above Alec's body. He smiles into the kiss, which is only broken now and again for the sake of breathing. His veins burn with a furious and demanding dragon of sensual bliss, and his body reacts in all of the right ways. This, to Magnus, was Heaven.

***************************The Next Day, 12:00pm*******************

Magnus rolls over, tangled in the bed sheets. He throws an arm around what he has come to recognize as Alec's body. Opening his eyes, he smiles as he sees Alec watching him, bathed in the sunlight that floods through the windows. He leans forwards and kisses Alec, appreciating the way that their mouths mould together so perfectly. When he pulls away, he can't help but smile again as he sees the way the sunlight hits Alec's eyes, causing them to burn as sapphire ice. Magnus leans forwards again, but to whisper in Alec's ear. He whispers to him what he had wanted to tell him the moment he woke up the day before.

"Alec, I'm human." He pulls away and is delighted to see the expression that has danced across his lover's face. Heaven seems to shine from his eyes as he takes in the words that Magnus had shared with him. A smile splits across Alec's face, as he leaps forwards and showers Magnus with kisses. Magnus laughs at him, just to have his laughs swallowed by Alec's mouth on his. The phone rings beside the bed, interrupting the two. Alec lets go of Magnus with a great show of reluctance, And picks up the phone. He speaks swiftly and efficiently through the phone to the other side, then hangs up. Looking into Magnus' cat-like golden eyes, he smiles shyly.

"I have to go, Magnus. Duty calls." He gets out of the bed, and walks towards the bathroom. After shutting the door, Magnus can hear the sound of the shower, and he flops down onto the pillows, and smiles to himself. He had gone to one of his friends, an old Creole witch, and asked her to take away his warlock power. She had to take a small portion of his soul, as well, since being a warlock was in his blood. She had warned him beforehand, though, that for the mortal beings nothing good ever happens. He had shrugged off her warning as her just being superstitious as she ever was. Magnus honestly believed that nothing would happen to him, because he had lived for so long already that nothing could happen that he didn't already know about. He thought that he would never have to worry about the bad things, and that they only happen to weak people.

He was horribly mistaken.

About ten minutes later, the shower ends, and Alec walks out of the bathroom with a towel in his hand, vigorously drying his short, dark hair. He has on all of his black leather Shadowhunting gear, and he smiles brightly at Magnus. Dropping the towel on the back of a chair, he walks towards Magnus, and plants a kiss on his head. Without another word, Alec walks out of the room, and out of the flat. Magnus gets out of the bed, and decides to take a shower himself. He walks into the shower, and turns on the tap, jumping slightly as the water hits him. He stands under the warm water for a long time, just letting it soak him through-and-through. He then picks up his luffa, and starts to scrub.

*************************Same night, 10:00pm*******************

Magnus stands in the kitchen, chewing on the piece of chicken leg he had started devouring. His eyes wander towards the television, and he watches a show called 'Chris Angel, Mindfreak.' He laughs at the man's' antics, knowing that he can do so much better than that silly little froufrou and his stupid fans. He nearly chokes on his chicken as he laughs.

"Hgnn, Froufrou." He smiles, then his forehead creases in thought. He completely forgot that he had given up his powers to Madame Notre, the Creole witch, to become human. He really loved the high-class lifestyle that being a High Warlock gave, but he also loved the idea that he could live and die in Alec's arms. The phone rings, and Magnus nearly jumps out of his skin, dropping the chicken leg.

"Shit." He bends down and picks it up, lightly pushing Chairman Meow, his kitten, out of the way with his foot. He drops the desecrated chicken into the garbage can, and walks over to that wailing phone. Picking up the receiver, he states that he _is_ listening to the other end. When the person on the other line asks if he was Magnus Bane, he tells them that he is, and soon wishes that eh hadn't. The person reveals themselves as a Dr. Montague, and states what business that he has for calling Magnus. After saying what he had to say, he apologizes multiple times, then asks if Magnus is alright. Magnus's mouth hangs open and his eyes grown wide with a sudden realization. He drops the phone, and can hear the Doctor on the other end asking him over and over if he's alright. _Alright._ He takes steps away from the phone, his eyes filling to the brim, then tears pouring over. Magnus puts a hand to his heart, a sob escaping from his mouth. He looks at a photograph of both Alec and himself, Alec looking into Magnus' eyes with complete love and devotion. Magnus lets out another choked sob, and drops to his knees, hand clutching at his chest. He lets out a pain-filled scream, then another, then another. He lets the tears flow down his face, as he listens to his heart shatter into a tiny, million pieces, He bends forwards on his knees to place his forehead on the wooden floor, his mouth open, screams pouring out like dirtied water out of a broken glass. He had become human so that he could live with Alec until the time they both had died. But now, now Alec is gone. And so, Magnus realizes, is his heart. He had given it over completely to Alec, come close to ripping it out of his chest so that he could have it. And now there is only a hole sitting inside Magnus' chest, large enough to fit the love of an eternity.

But that, too, is lost as Magnus screams his empty heart out, as he listens to the breaking of his resolve. He had lived for Alec. Magnus looks up to see Alec crouched in front of him, smiling, his blue eyes bright as the summer sky. Magnus reaches out for him, just for Alec to turn into a screen of smoke that hovers above Magnus' hand and disappear. Magnus lets out an agonized scream, and looks directly into a mirror. The person he sees there is not himself, but a man who had lost the will to live. The man had tears streaming down his face, and his mouth was open in agony; his eyes blank and empty. Magnus realizes one last thing, then: He had become human for Alec.

And now, looking into the mirror, he realizes that he lost all humanity he would ever have.

He would not be able to make it.

He was not alright.

Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, New York, was dead.

Left behind; a man with no soul. A lonely man. A broken man. Taking one last look, Magnus takes in a breath, then finally, finally knows.

The thing staring back at him is not a man at all.

Review, please! I cried as I wrote this, so please tell me what you think!

~R


End file.
